Sunday, February 18, 2007

Waiting in vain...

Ange tayong dalawa pa lang nagpopost dito...ibig sabihin ang dami nating issues ahahaha! Anyway ako naman...

After talking to Claire yesterday about letting go of and detaching myself from him because there's really something wrong going on....Nag hangout na naman ako with him...

Well actually may plan na talaga na labas kami for lunch and buy dvds. So baba ako sa apartment niya. He was playing with his new laptop when I got there. Tas upo ako sa tabi niya tas naki-usi...tas he suddenly pulled me and kissed me on the cheeks. Tas he said "I love you..bes" na naman. Haaaay since I still have feelings for him....kinilig na naman ako...actually ndi kilig yung term..more on naconfuse na naman ako. So ok kain na kami...tas while eating he suddenly said (I swear out of the blue talaga)..."I dont see myself getting married in 5 years". Tas sabi ko "huh bakit naman? Ikaw pa eh lagi mo sinasabi sa akin dati na gusto mo na magasawa". He said "hindi noh joke lang yun...feeling ko hindi pa ako ready sa responsibilities of marriage." Tas sabi ko "Haaay nakuu narinig ko na rin yan dati (referring to when he said he's not ready to have a gf tas nagkagf na rin naman pla)..hindi na ako naniniwala". Tas sabi niya "iba yun noh..ang gf pwede iluwa ang asawa ndi (referring to the old saying na ang kasal ay ndi mainit na kanin na pwedeng iluwa lol)". So sabi ko "well ako rin naman hindi pa ready...gusto ko pa mag-aral abroad and travel the world before I get married". Tas tumahimik siya and suddenly changed the topic. Weird di ba? Maybe im just reading to much into it..pero kasi everytime he sees me surfing for universities..he'd always say "mukhang seryoso ka talaga diyan ah"...tas sabay hug sa akin tas kiss sa akin either sa forehead or cheeks. I get the feeling na he doesnt want me to leave or something. Ewan ko ba ...

So now I realized na love ko talaga siya...na I'm willing to wait for him...i'll just leave it up to fate/time kung mapagod man ako and eventually let go....haaaay girls help me

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